Self-awareness has emerged as an important topic in leadership development, executive coaching, and personal growth. Research shows that self-aware individuals not only lead more satisfying lives, but that they achieve greater success, are more effective leaders, and develop stronger relationships. Conversely, those lacking self-awareness have been shown to make poorer decisions, overestimate their abilities, and negatively impact team dynamics.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is having a clear understanding your values, needs, strengths, limitations, and ingrained behavior patterns. It also includes the ability to observe your thoughts and emotions. However, self-awareness goes beyond knowing yourself internally. According to organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich, it also encompasses knowing how others perceive you.
The Benefits of Self-Awareness
Daniel Coleman in his book Emotional Intelligence states that self-awareness is fundamental to emotional intelligence. Individuals with higher EQ (emotional quotient) navigate life’s ups and downs with greater skill and ease, contributing to their overall happiness and success.
Below are some key benefits of cultivating self-awareness:
- Enhanced decision making
- Improved emotional regulation
- Strengthened communication skills
- More productive and harmonious relationships
- Increased self-acceptance
- Sharpened critical thinking skills
Given its profound impact on success, it is clear why cultivating self-awareness is an important part of my role as a leadership coach.
Tips for Improving Self-Awareness
Despite its importance, research indicates that most people significantly overestimate their level of self-awareness. Eurich’s findings revealed that while 95% of participants considered themselves self-aware, only 10-15% were truly self-aware. The good news is that self-awareness is a skill that can be developed. Here are a few tips to get you started:
1) Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a fundamental practice for developing self-awareness. It involves observing your thoughts and emotions without judgement, while being fully engaged with what is happening in the moment. The opposite of mindfulness is getting lost in your thoughts and emotions such that you disconnect from the present.
Mindfulness isn’t limited to meditation, though a regular sitting meditation practice is considered the best way to develop it. Mindfulness can also be cultivated through activities like walking in nature, yoga, gardening – any activity that engages the senses and shifts the focus from your thoughts to the present.
Through mindfulness, you will gain greater insights into your habitual patterns. It will empower you to discern when you’re about to react unskillfully – enabling you to pause, challenge your assumptions, and choose an intentional response instead of a reflexive one.
2) Explore Your Moods and Emotions
Pay attention to how you react emotionally to everyday situations. Reflect on these questions:
- What are my predominant moods?
- Which emotions do I experience most frequently?
You may notice that you gravitate towards certain emotions. Knowing your default moods and emotions is crucial, as they can significantly influence your perceptions and decisions. For instance, when faced with a similar situation, an optimistic person may see the opportunities, while a pessimistic one may focus on the risks. The key is to acknowledge your patterns without self-criticism.
Awareness of your default moods and emotions can lead to better decision-making by alerting you to potential biases and encouraging greater objectivity. This awareness can also help promote proactive self-regulation, as you anticipate your automatic emotional reactions.
3) Reflect Daily and Look for Patterns
At the end of the day, take time to reflect on the day’s events and consider the following:
- What interactions or events went well? Which ones did not?
- How did my actions, including my speech and internal dialogue, contribute to the outcomes?
- What could I have done differently?
This process of reflection will reveal patterns in your behavior, particularly under stress, and help you to make more skillful choices in the future.
4) Practice Active Listening
During conversation, pay attention to the other person’s words, tone, body language, and facial expressions. By focusing on the other person rather than formulating a response, you will gain a deeper awareness of your own judgements, assumptions, and emotional triggers. You may just discover how challenging it can be to truly focus on the other person.
Active listening also provides valuable insights into how your words and actions impact others. We will explore this aspect of self-awareness in a future article.
Final Thoughts
Cultivating self-awareness is a lifelong endeavor. While reflection is essential, excessive introspection and rumination can lead to self-absorption, an overemphasis on flaws, and detachment from the present. It can also increase anxiety and unhappiness. A balanced approach to reflection is vital for achieving genuine self-awareness.
In the next article of this series, we will delve into somatic (body) awareness, an often-overlooked yet crucial aspect of self-knowledge. This body-centered awareness is just as important as mind-based self-awareness, as it provides a more direct, unfiltered experience of our internal state.